honeymoon mishaps
by KahnShao
Summary: a bunch of stand alones. Victor and Emily on their honeymoon happily married...but who is going to weird out who? Rated T but some chapters may have an M rating. The M rating will be posted at the begining of the story
1. victor goes crazy

**Victor's gone loopy**

** Victor sat in the honeymoon suite that overlooked the city. He and Emily had just gotten married and had already done "the deed" the night before. He was tired and still wanted to sleep a bit but Emily had awoken him earlier. The reason being is that all newlyweds had to be registered. He thought that just signing paperwork should be enough. That's how they did things Upstairs so he figured that the same was here. Emily came out of the bathroom smelling of lavender. Victor smiled and sniffed heavily. "Victor darling, are you ready to go?" she asked in that airy voice of hers. Victor glanced at his wife. "Its going to take forever itsn't it?" he whined. He really would rather stay here and relax with Emily. Emily sighed and said it would take a while for everything to be in place yes. But the place they needed to go to was not far and there was a chance that they would be called in right away. Victor sighed and got to his feet. To make him more cheerful Emily planted a kiss on his lips. Victor returned the kiss happily and the two kissed for a few more minutes before Emily broke it off before it would lead to something else.**

** They left their suite and headed down to the Department Of Recently Deceased And Married. Or DORDAM for short. They entered the building and noticed that there were a few others there before them. Emily went to check in while Victor sat down in one of the chairs. After a few minutes he began to get bored. Emily was getting tired of waiting as well and grabbed a book to pass the time. Victor decided to pass the time in his own way. What he did was this:**

**1._Emily_**

**He said this quietly to himself and started to chuckle. Emily glanced at him briefly but said nothing. Victor glanced at his wife out of his side vision and a wry smile crept upon his face. No reaction out of the Corpse Bride. So he tried something else. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee e" He said in a whisper. Emily looked at him. "Did you say something darling?" she asked with a smile. Victor grinned and shook his head. "No love." He said and planted a kiss on her lips. An hour later they still were waiting. Victor was becoming more bored and loud in his entertainment of himself.**

"**Yayayayayayayayyeeeeeeeeee hjhgjgjdkghgvjhrkhggvhkdhghg jhghgh" he sang happily. The others stopped what they were doing to look at him. Emily glanced over and wondered what he was doing. "Victor shush." She whispered ignoring the odd stares from the other dead in the room. Victor stopped for all about 5 minutes. Then he started up again. This time even louder. "Shit nuggets im bored!" Boredddddddd! And I gotta peeeeee!" Victor yelled outloud. The other dead stifled a laugh. "Is he your son?" a skeleton woman asked. Emily groaned. "No. he's my husband. Looked at Emily with a strange glint in his eyes. "MAAAAAAAMAAAAAA!" He shrieked jumping in Emily's lap. Emily screamed and shoved him off in shock. "Victor! Shut the hell up! If you say Eeeeeeeeee, yayayayay, hfdlhlhaldhgklasdg, mama, or I have to pee one more time there's going to be trouble." She snarled. Victor quieted down. "Ok. Love."he said quietly**

** Emily sat back down irritated. She loved Victor, and would be devastated if anything happened to him, but right now he was irritating. "No noises." She added. Victor stared at the ceiling. "I have to poop… poooooo choooooo train comin' out!" Victor laughed. Emily slammed her book shut. "What did I just tell you? About trouble?" she asked. Victor blushed. "Its too late love. I crapped my pants." **

**Emily facepalmed herself and plopped back down onto the chair. Hoping that when they did call they wouldn't need the both of them in the same room. **

'**I love him…I honestly do…but it's a good thing we're dead already because if we were alive….i would have killed him already.' She thought to herself.**


	2. the switch

**The Switch**

**(slight M rating)**

** Victor had woken up before his wife. He had to use the restroom and stumbled over to it. He remembered the party from the night before and how he and Emily had drank some of the Elder's potions not realizing what one was. He was about to realize now. He looked at himself in the mirror and screamed. Emily jumped out of bed and ran to the source of her husband's voice. "Emily….I have boobs!" he screamed. Emily looked down fearing the worst. She nearly fainted when she discovered that she had the reproductive parts of a man. She stared at the mirror and realized she had become Victor, and Victor had become her. "That potion we drank." Victor/Emily groaned. Emily/Victor nodded dumbly. "If that potion did that to us then maybe The Elder had a potion that can change us back." Emily/Victor suggested. Both grabbed their clothing and ran out the door to see The Elder.**

** When they arrived at his place he was mildly stunned to see them. "what brings you two here?" he asked. "We have a problem." Emily/Victor cried out. "What, are you two pregnant?" The Elder asked mildly surprised. Emily/Victor shook his head. "No. uhh…you see…" he stammered. Victor/Emily came forward. "Wedranksomeofyourpotionsnotr ealizingitwasasexchangeonean dnowweareineachothersbody." Victor/Emily said in one breath. The Elder shook his head. 'oh, boy…I should have known. Leave a door open with two newlyweds and if they don't wreck the place by their screwing, they decide they want to drink.' **

** "Ok…ok…the potion is not permanent and it should wear off in about…Emily/Victor quit poking at your husbands penis. That's not natural." Emily/Victor stopped as instructed. Victor/Emily was fiddling with his wife's area still in shock that he had one now. "Victor/Emily quit playing with your wife's….'kitten.' The Elder stated. Both ceased their activities. 'I swear its like they have had no experience whatsoever.' He thought to himself. "This potion will wear off in about 2 days. Until then you must stay with me lest you do something foolish to embarrass the other one. SEPARATE ROOMS!" He added with a finality that was not to be trifled with. At the end of two days the spell wore off as predicted and Emily and Victor were back to normal with a healthy respect for the Elder's potions and why it is unsafe to drink and unknown substance.**


	3. too many flowers

**Too Many Flowers**

** Victor was running far away from home. Far away from Emily. Right now he wanted nothing to do with his corpse bride whatsoever. It wasn't that he was angry with her. He could never be angry with his Emily at all. But she was infuriated with him. He left for his own safety and because to be frank…he was batshit scared. He ran into the only safe haven he knew. As long as Emily didn't show up he should be safe. "Hey, Vic-o whats up man?" a familiar one eyed skeleton asked cheerily. Victor plopped down upon the stool. "I need help. Emily is really upset. Like infuriated pissed off. She said she didn't want to see me anymore….so….im going to…." Victor said trying to fight back his tears. Bonejangles was shocked. "Victor you listen to me. Emily loves you with all her heart. Sometimes people say things before thinking them through. If you were to leave im 100 percent positive it would break her heart. Give her space." Victor nodded. He knew Emily still loved him and if he just decided to leave it would do more damage then good.**

** "Now what happened? Today you guys have been married one year. Why is she so stroppy?" Bonejangles asked. "I forgot it was our anniversary. I told her I don't see what the big deal was on why she was upset—" Bonejangles stopped him mid-sentence. "Now I know what the problem is. Your wife wanted to see if you would remember your one year anniversary. I know you genuinely forgot and mistakes happen but Emily is a girl. She's not liable to let this slip easily." Bonejangles added. Victor looked at his friend. "So what do I do? If I go near her she'll get pissed." He asked. "Buy her a present that she longed to have. And flowers. Girls love flowers." Bonejangles suggested. Victor nodded and went to the florist. He got tons of roses. As in so much that he couldn't see where he was really going with them. Then he went to the candy shoppe and got her a box of chocolates shaped like hearts (or what he thought was hearts) Then Victor made the trip home. He stepped around back in case and irriated Emily was in the living room. He paused when he heard sobbing. **

** Mrs. Plum was sitting beside Emily rubbing her back. "I d-d-d-didn't mean what I said…I love him so much…I don't want him to leave me." She sobbed. Mrs. Plum continued to console a sobbing Emily when she caught sight of Victor. Mrs. Plum smiled and motioned victor to come forwards quietly. He did so and Emily took no notice of him. "Y' know dear, Victor loves you. He's not going to leave…he walked out because he needs time to cool down as well." Emily still had her face buried in her hands. "Uh-hu" she hiccupped. "He st-still loves me?" she mumbled. Mrs. Plum smiled. "More than anything dear.**

** "Uh, Emily?" Victor said cautiously. Emily looked up at him. "Happy anniversary love." He smiled. He handed Emily the flowers. Emily choked back a sob and embraced him fiercely. He hugged Emily in return. Emily smiled at the flowers and took a big whiff. Then her face contorted and she sneezed a few times the last one causing the petals to fly everywhere. Victor looked shocked. "Emily!" he replied trying not to laugh. Emily giggled. "too much flowers I guess." Next Victor handed her the box of chocolates and sat down beside her. Emily opened the box and stared stunned for a moment. "Why Victor…" she giggled blushing. "They're heart chocolates with crème filing." He smiled. Emily giggled and shook her head. "Victor they're—they're—p-p-p look at them." She said laughing. Victor looked at the chocolates. They were indeed chocolate penises. His eyes widened and before he could stammer an apolgy to Emily her lips caught his in a passionate kiss. "I love you victor." She smiled.**


	4. Mother Nature pays a visit

**Mother Nature Pays a Visit**

**(slight M rating)**

** Victor plopped back down onto the sofa exhausted. Although he had done no physical labor he was already worn out from Emily's bitching about this and that. First she was irritated that he didn't spend much time with her. Then she was irritated that he neglected their friends by spending _too _much time with her. Emily came out of their bedroom in a somewhat decent mood. "Victor, love how do I look?" Victor looked at his wife. "You look nice." He replied. "NICE?! THAT'S IT?!" She shrilled hitting that right pitch that shattered the eardrum and liquefied bones. "You USE TO say I looked stunning!" she grated at him. Victor closed his eyes. "Im sorry Emily…you look stunning." He said tiredly. He didn't want to argue. Not again.**

** Emily went back to what Victor liked to call her shrilling. Even his dog Scraps went into hiding when she got in her moods. Lucky bastard. "You're just saying that! Victor quit being a dick and act like a man and look at me!" Emily yelled. That did it. He jumped to his feet and stomped towards her. Emily had shrunk back for a moment, a split second thought that he'd send his fist slamming into her face. But Victor was not that type of guy to lay hands on a woman…even in anger. He merely shoved past her and walked out the door to the Bone and Socket pub before he said anything he would bitterly regret.**

** "I don't understand women Bones, I really don't. One minute Emily is all loving and kind, the next minute she's all stroppy and if I don't answer the way she wants me to; even if I do she gets all upset." Bonejangles grinned. "Sounds to me like your lady has a visit from Mother Nature going on. Lets just say it lasts about 5-7 days and happens once a month or so." Bones laughed. Victor stared at his friend for a moment before his eyes widened. "You mean THAT visit?" Where the hell am I supposed to go?" Victor stammered. Bonejangles laughed nearly falling off the stool. "Ya gotta wait it out buddy. Runnin' from her is just gonna make her upset and angry. Stayin' with her is gonna make her upset and angry." Bones said sympathetically. "Great. I'm done for either way." Victor moaned plopping back down onto the stool with his head in his hands.**

** For a moment, one brief second, he regretted his marriage. But that thought left his head before he even had time to realize he thought it. Emily loved him and he knew it. And once this passed (now that he knew what exactly it was) she would be back to her kind, gentle, loving self. But this was only day 3 of the 7 day shitstorm he was going to have to put up with. He debated staying away for the 7 days then returning but Emily would be distraught without him. Hell, she was upset if he late coming back home from helping Paul and Mrs. Plum at the Pub. Fearing something happened to him. It took her a while to realize he wasn't going anywhere and she calmed down a bit but still remained worried.**

**Meanwhile**

** Emily sat in the garden trying to calm her nerves. Victor had not yet come home yet and she was beginning to worry that maybe he finally had enough and walked out. 'he wouldn't leave me. She thought to herself. 'at least I hope he wouldn't.' she went into their home and grabbed the box of chocolates Victor had bought for her. There were a quite a few left. She had asked Victor to help her eat them but for some reason eating chocolate penises with cream filling freaked him out. She giggled as he ate a few. Her mood becoming better. She guessed she owed Victor and apology for reacting the way she did. Truth be told, Victor had technically done no wrong…**

**At the Bone and Socket**

** Victor had gotten to his feet a little tipsy. He bid goodbye to his friends and made the journey home. He had managed to make it home without looking too foolish. Some of the other dead that frequented the pub shook their head sympathetically. "He sure is whipped." They would say. He ignored their comments. By the time he made it home it was getting late. No matter…he wasn't hungry anyways. He tried to be quiet coming into the house so that if Emily was asleep he didn't wake her. **

** Emily however was already awake and saw him come in. "Oh, Victor…im so sorry for being stroppy…do forgive me please."Emily whimpered hugging him. Victor put his arms around her and hugged her tenderly. "Its not your fault love. I understand." He said kindly as he kissed the top of her head. Emily sighed resting her head onto his shoulder still hugging him. "I know I can be a bit stroppy sometimes…but I still love you." She added.**

** Victor's stupidity finally kicked in at about that time. "Yes, I know you can be stroppy, but I love you as we…" "STROPPY?! SO IM STROPPY NOW?! FUCK YOU VICTOR VAN DOLT! FUCK YOU AND YOUR CARRIAGE AND YOUR DAMN DOG!" EMILY bellowed before pushing him away from her. "E-Emily, where am I going to sleep tonight?" he asked when she stormed to their bedroom and grabbed some blankets and pillows tossing them at him.**

** "BY YOURSELF YOU BASTARD!" she added. She slammed the door to their room shut. "Now what did I do this time?" Victor asked no one in particular. He settled onto the large comfy chair and was nearly asleep when he felt someone crawl alongside him. It wasn't Scraps he knew for sure. He heard a soft sigh as the figure nuzzled against him and he creaked open one eye. Emily had fallen asleep beside him her arm laying across his chest. Victor smiled and sighed kissing the top of his bride's head before falling asleep himself. 3 **


	5. dressing up

**Dressing up**

**(rated M)**

** Victor was alone in his home. His wife Emily had gone out to visit with Victoria and the two were going shopping. Even though they were both his favorite women (Mrs. Plum included but she's elsewhere) He was glad he had stayed home; shopping with two excitable young women could only lead to trouble. He had never been shopping with them and didn't honestly plan to either. Knowing that Emily would be gone for a while he decided to have a bit of fun on his own. Grinning, he got to his feet and retreated to the bedroom he and his wife shared. He opened the closet and found a spare wedding dress. (for some reason Emily was obsessed with those things despite her being happily married. He laid it on the bed neatly and began to disrobe himself. Smiling like a naughty schoolboy he stood before the mirror naked and very carefully tucked his manhood between his legs. This caused a fit of giggles. "Now I look like I have what Emily has." He said to himself giggling.**

** Next he very carefully hopped to the dresser to grab some tape. He somehow managed to tape his penis to the backside wincing every so often because it kept pulling against his hairs. Once he managed to get it in a somewhat comfortable position he slipped into the wedding dress. But before he got it pulled up he ran down to the kitchen and grabbed two pieces of fruit and put them on his chest. He then pulled up the dress and the fruit fit snuggly against him. Then he bolted back into their room and sat at his wife's vanity. He put on some lipstick, eye shadow, blush, and then perfume. He grabbed some yarn and positioned it over his head to make it look like he had long hair.**

** "Hi, my name is Emily. And I am married to the greatest man in the world." He told his dog Scraps imitating Emily's voice. Scraps cocked his bony head and looked at his master as if he had gone insane. Then victor began to prance about the room giggling. "Im gonna go shopping Eeeeeeeee!" he squealed in a high pitched voice. He giggled. This was fun. He went outside for a brief second and saw Bonejangles. "hello Bones.. nice day is it not?" he giggled and then retreated back inside his house before the one eyed skeleton could process what he had seen.**

** Victor returned to the bedroom and sang off key in a high pitched voice. He heard someone clear their throat and he whirled around his makeshift hair falling off. He stared wide eyed. "E-E-E-Emily….I c-c-can e-e-e-e-xplain." Emily stared at him in shock. Then she started laughing. "V-v-v-v-v" she couldn't say his name. Victoria came in and stared. "Oh…wow." She said simply. Emily still laughing held on to her friend for support. Victoria disengaged herself from her hysterical friend. "I-im just going to leave now. Ok?" she backed away and left. The two fruit Victor had as "breasts" fell out and rolled onto the floor.**

** Blushing he undressed in front of Emily intending to get his clothing on. When Emily had seen what he had done to himself to make him look more "womanly" she laughed even harder. She had to sit down or she knew she'd be on the ground. Blushing he reached back and without thinking gave it a good yank to put it back in its original position. Victor's eyes widened and he gave a yelp of surprise as it had pulled off some of his hairs. **

** After he was dressed he sat down rather embarrassed. "Its ok Victor…I thought it was funny but cute. Victoria won't say anything…" Emily said kindly as she nuzzled her husband. 'although if she does I don't blame her…' she thought to herself. "I went outside and I saw Bonejangles and said hi briefly." Victor groaned suddenly remembering that his one eyed friend could never keep things on the down lo. **

** Emily planted a passionate kiss on his lips. He probably doesn't even know it was you." She responded gently. She kissed him again. "Im going to bed. Are you coming along?" she smiled. Victor looked at her. "Are you tired?" he asked. Emily smiled mischieveously. "No…" Victor smiled and followed his wife to their bedroom and shut the door.**

**Meanwhile at the Bone and Socket**

** "AHHH CRAP! YOU GUYS'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I SAW! I SAW OUR BUDDY VICTOR DRESSED IN ONE OF EMILY'S WEDDING DRESSES ACTING LIKE A WOMAN!" Bonejangles screamed laughing. The entire pub went dead silent before bursting out in laughter. Come the next day Victor would get the surprise of his unlife.**


	6. a day with the guysno victor

**A Day With The Guys…No Victor.**

** Victor sat in the living room on the sofa sulking like a child. His eyes cast downward his lower lip jutting outward slightly. He sat there with his arms crossed. He had been invited to go out with "the guys" for the day. The guys included; Mayhew, Bonejangles, and Fennis (victoria's father) to the guys planned on going fishing, and a 'Gentleman's club.' Victor told Emily where and what he was planning on doing (due to she got worried if he stayed away too long) and he told him No. he tried to reason with her and she still refused. Damn it, it just wasn't right. A man had needs and desires too…and right now he wanted to go out with 'just the guys.' But Emily offered to have him accompany her to a quilting club she belonged to. Oh, yea. Great fun that. He decided a new approach; to feign illness until she left. Once she was gone then he would go out for a bit and be back before she realized he had gone. **

** "Im not feeling to well love. Why don't you go to your club and ill be ok here." He rasped bundling into the blankets for effect. Emily sat beside him and hugged him tenderly. "Oh, my poor Victor…maybe I shall stay here with you instead." She replied tenderly stroking the top of his head. For a moment…he felt guilty. "I-I'll be ok love. You go and enjoy yourself…you deserve it. Besides…I have Scraps here to keep me company." He smiled. Emily looked torn. "O-ok love. I'll be back later on…are you sure—" she started. "ill be fine Emily" Victor replied. Emily bent forward and planted a gentle kiss on his head. "I love you victor." She said. "I love you too Emily." He replied suddenly feeling guilty for a moment. Victor waited a half hour after she left to make his move. Once the group had assembled they started out. **

** "you told Emily what?" Bonejangles laughed. "I told her I was sick." Victor replied simply. Fenis shook his head. "You are right about that boy. You _ARE_ sick." Victor ignored that comment. First thing they did was went fishing. Victor caught a small minnow that wasn't much bigger than his thumb and set it free. Fenis caught a nice sized fish, and Bonejangles caught an old boot. After a few hours of fishing they decided to go the the Gentleman's Club for a few hours. Victor's eyes widened at the scantily clad women in the establishment and couldn't help but smile. One of the women smiled back and winked at him. 'Oh, if Emily had seen this…he would have had to break up a fight between the two women.' Fenis thought to himself. One of the women walked right up to Victor and whispered something into his ear. Victor turned bright red his eyes widened and he backed away. "what did she say Vic-o?" Bonejangles asked. "she wanted to know if I was interested in engaging in a horizontal dance with her in one of the private rooms." Victor muttered. **

** "Ohhhhh….she wants you to stick it to her. To let her ride the bologna pony." Bonejangles replied thoughtfully. "I-i-i-I'm m-m-m-m-m-arried though." Victor stammered. Bonejangles merely laughed. **

** After a few drinks the group decided to call it quits and head on home. Victor who was rather drunk at that time had forgotten that Emily said she'd be home at the end of the day. What he didn't know is that she decided to leave early and check in on him. When she came in and found that he wasn't there, her first reaction was to clobber him the moment he came through the door. But then she thought of an even better idea. She would just totally ignore him for the remainder of the week. She _knew_ he hated it when she ignored him. But she wondered if that would even be possible…given whenever he looked at her with what she liked to call "puppy dog look" she always caved in.**

** Victor came in through the door and he knew he was in for it when a pillow came flying towards his head along with a volley of curses. "Guess where your sleeping tonight Victor?" she asked coldly. "Not with you? Im sorry love…I didn't mean for this to happen. I'll be outside with scraps if you need me." He mumbled. He turned and went out the door and before he went outside Emily called him back. "take this with you so you won't get cold." She said curtly as she tossed him a blanket. Confused Victor took the blanket and went to lay outside by scrap's doghouse. At around 12:30 in the morning he turned over and found someone snuggling next to him. It was Emily. She had curled along beside him and was drifting off to sleep. "I still love you victor. And no this is far from over." She mumbled to him. Victor gently kissed his wife on the head before falling asleep himself.**


	7. Paybacks a bitchlittle surprises

**Payback's a bitch/little surprises **

** Victor was the last one awake and he made his way into their home. He was stiff from sleeping outside on the ground the previous night but was glad Emily had went out to be with him. One thing he knew for sure about his Emily. She could be infuriated with him but didn't want to be apart from him long. "Hello love, today is your lucky day. You get to join me in my quilting club." Emily said cheerily. Victor was about to refuse when Emily grabbed a knife she was using to carve some meat for a platter. "Or, ill casterate you." She smiled. Victor knew she was joking about that part. "Then we couldn't…you know…" he stammered. Emily smiled. "self pleasure." She replied simply. **

** Victor groaned. He knew he owed Emily big time for this "betrayal." He sighed defeated. "Ill go with you to your club Emily. I messed up and I am going to accept the consesquences. Emily seemed shocked for a while. In all honesty she had already forgiven him for this transgression and felt remorse for having him sleep outside. So she joined him. And if he came back in after going outside that night she would have welcomed him back. After breakfast they went to the club and Victor was bored. Emily saw him out of the corner of her eye and grinned. This was going to be fun. After the club Emily chimed happily "Lets go to the fabric store and have a look around." Victor groaned. His whole face scrunched up and Emily burst out laughing. **

** "Oh, Victor…its not that bad." Emily tittered. They went to the store and much to Victor's dismay they spent ONE HOUR looking down one aisle. Then they went to the flowershop to look around. Normally Victor would not have minded. For a visit to the flowershop to him meant go in, grab your item, leave. To Emily in meant; go in, grab your item, look at other things, compare your item with others, decide against it and get the other item, go back and compare again, grab a new item, go back and compare with the other item and your original item. Go with the original item. And that was down ONE aisle. Emily liked to go down ALL the aisles. When they were done with that they grabbed some lunch. As they were eating Emily smiled. "You didn't have to do all this with me Victor. I already forgave you last night." She giggled. Despite all this Victor couldn't be angry with her. He just grinned and shook his head. "You are so weird Emily." He laughed. Emily giggled back. "Im weird? At least im not the one afraid of chocolate and crème filled penises." She added laughing. Victor cleared his throat blushing. "Although I do need you to come to the hospital with me. I have an appointment." Emily said quietly.**

** Victor grinned. "Yea, with the mental institute." He giggled. Emily gave him a look. "very funny." She responded. After lunch they went to the doctor and waited to be called in. Victor was getting bored. *sigh* "I have-" he stared. Emily stopped him. "No, don't you even _THINK _about crapping on anything or doing _any_ of the things you did when we were at The D.O.R.D.A.M." Emily growled. Victor stared at her. "Im just going to grab a drink of water. Want one?" he asked trying not to laugh.**

** "Oh…." Emily replied in a tiny voice. Before she could answer she was called in. the doctors looked her over and gave her a clean bill of health.**

** "You look splendid Mrs. Van Dolt. But I must insist you take it a bit easier from here on out." The doctor stated. Emily stared at him. "what for? She asked curiously.**

** "Well, my dear you are pregnant." 2 moths along from what I can tell." The doctor replied. Emily sat quietly for a moment for this to sink in. 'Pregnant. How did this happen—oh don't' be stupid Emily. You know very well _ HOW _it happened. What do I tell Victor?' she thought to herself. **

***dedicated to iluvusomucheric**


	8. finding out

**Finding Out**

** Victor sat patiently inside the waiting room snacking on a fruitbar and drinking a juice. His wife had been in the office more a little over and hour and at first he was beginning to worry. He closed his eyes for a brief moment trying not to let boredom overcome him. He remembered what happened last time he was in an office like this and his "entertainment" had gotten him smacked upside his head. He giggled at that. Emily came out shortly afterwords with a slight smile to her pretty face. Victor walked quickly over to her and asked how the appointment went. Emily smiled and wrapped her arm around Victor's waist and he did the same to her. "It went well love. Lets go get something to eat." She replied softly. Victor smiled. He was a bit hungry. They stopped to eat at a yogurt shop. It was the kind of shop where you could mix your own yogurt. Emily went for a plain vanilla. Victor being well…Victor mixed vanilla, grape, orange, and hazelnut together. Then he added chocolate and caramel sauce with sprinkles.**

** Emily looked at his concoction. "Have you ever considered eating normal yogurt?" she asked. Victor looked at her and smiled. "No." he said simply. Emily rolled her eyes. She kept rubbing her belly and smiling to herself. Victor noticed. "why do you keep rubbing your belly and smiling to yourself Emily? Did you fart? Or are you farting?" he asked with a slight smile. Emily came out of her daydream. "Yes…I mean…NO VICTOR! JUST…NO…" she hissed trying not to laugh. While Victor could be an idiot at times he was also rather funny…oh, how she loved him. "Well what is it? You keep rubbing your belly like a genie is going to come out or something." Emily sighed. It was now or never. She had to tell him. **

** "Victor, I'm with child. We are going to have a family." Emily said cautiously wondering what his reaction would be. SSSSSPPPPFFFFFFHHHPLH! Victor spat out his yogurt in a spray all over Emily. "Whaaattt?! Your p-p-p-p-pregnant?" he yelped. "Victor you chode sucking bastard! You got this crap all over me! Yes we are going to have a family!" dammit you are nasty!" Emily shrieked wiping off all the frozen yogurt that got spat upon her. Victor sat stunned for a while. "THAT'S GREAT EMILY! IM GONNA BE A FATHER!" Victor yelled jumping up tipping over his chair in the process. Emily hid an embarrassed smile. She was happy Victor wanted to be a father. Although she had wished she told him in private. Now she had yogurt to finish wiping off and she had to calm down her husband who was bouncing all over the place.**

** When they finally got home Victor gently rubbed Emily's belly and gave it a kiss. "Is it a boy or a girl?" he asked. Emily shrugged. The doctor doesn't know yet. Its still too early to tell." She giggled. He leaned over and kissed Emily. "You smell like orange and hazelnut yogurt." He said softly. Emily smiled back. "Well, that tends to happen when you have yogurt sprayed at you." She giggled remembering Victor's reaction. Emily kissed him back and got to her feet only to be pushed gently back. "No Emily. You rest. Im going to take care of everything." Emily sat back down. She didn't doubt Victor's ability to help out…she knew Victor would be a doting father and do well. What she didn't realize is that Victor tended to do things to the extreme. Victor went about planning the nursery for his unborn child and even practiced his "look" as he called it in case anyone "dared his ability to raise a child or the watch how you speak to my wife you bastard look." **

** Emily hoped that it wouldn't go to his head. She knew Victor loved her and their child to be, but hoped he wouldn't do anything or say anything stupid to get his ass kicked. Emily went back to rubbing her belly lovingly when the phone rang. She answered. "Mrs. Van Dort? It's the doctors. We have some news….it seems as if you are not going to have one child…it seems as if well…you are going to have 2." Emily muttered a thanks and sat down. 'Two. Two children. Oh boy. If I tell Victor….' She thought to herself. She got to her feet slowly knowing she had to tell him sooner or later. "Victor love, that was the doctor on the phone. It seems as if we are not having one child but two." She stated cautiously. Victor stopped and looked at her. "T-t-t-two…?" he asked. Before Emily could confirm she heard a thud as Victor fainted back onto their bed. Emily grinned shaking her head. **

**Now what should Emily have. A boy and a girl, two boys, or two girls?**


End file.
